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HOW TO OVERCOME THE SELF-SABOTAGE CYCLE!

Do you find you can consciously get yourself into a great rhythm with your food and training, then results start to come and for one reason or another you start to go off track and then your results stop coming? Does this sound familiar?

What is self-sabotage?

Definition: Self-sabotage is when you actively or passively take steps to prevent yourself from reaching your goals.

This self-sabotaging behaviour can affect nearly every aspect of life:

  • Relationship
  • Career
  • Weight loss

A cycle of behaviour that lowers your self-confidence and leaves you feeling stuck. Stemming from a lack of self-belief and a poor view on how you identify with yourself.

Why do we self-sabotage?

Self-sabotaging is linked to a lack of self-worth, when you do not believe in yourself success will not follow you. For many people feelings of worthlessness and that you don’t deserve success are in built and it takes an individual to show up and put in the work to overcome this and start to thrive.

Your sub-conscious mind is what you need to work on to be successful, imagine your sub-conscious as your bodies filing cabinet and what it knows and has already experienced in life is what it reverts back to over and over again as it is, it’s safety blanket. As soon as something is new and unfamiliar you start to experience self-doubt as your mind does not have a roadmap for it.

Subconscious beliefs are formed before the age of 7, here are a few thoughts/situations that could have affected the way your sub-conscious thoughts work today. Can you relate to any of the points below, your experiences between the ages of 0-7 have created how you think and deal with life today:

  • A parent who ignored you
  • A parent who showed you lots of love and attention
  • Were you physically harmed
  • Were you wrapped in cotton wool
  • Were you emotionally neglected
  • Were you supported through different situations
  • My voice doesn’t matter
  • I was encouraged to voice my opinion
  • Negative inner voice – I’m never going to get that job, I will never meet a partner, I can’t wear a size 12, I am not enough
  • Positive inner voice – I am excited about my job opportunities, I will meet a wonderful partner when the time is right, I will get to a size 12, I am enough

These are just some examples, the way you react to any one of these when you were between the ages of 0-7 has then be mapped into your DNA. You will find that if you were brought up in a negative household for example, where everything was a drama, you will carry this with you and repeat it as well as this is the behaviour you have learnt. It takes work to re-wire your sub-conscious, if you feel you need a little re-wiring keep reading.

Why do you fear success

When you get close to achieving your goal you start to feel uncomfortable because it is new, as humans we don’t like change. Instead of becoming fearless we revert back to what we already know, the old habits and embrace the cycle that has been created. This makes us feel safe, our sub-conscious automatically returns to what it knows and can already predict the outcome.

Your subconscious will never allow you to become something you hate so your inner voice needs to be positive otherwise you will feel stuck.

You want control – You feel better when you feel like you are in control. By accepting a negative outcome ahead of time, you feel like you are in control even though it is not what you want to happen. You control your failure when you apply this self-sabotaging thought pattern.

You fear failure – you fear that you will give all you have to a goal and still not be enough. It is easier to give yourself reasons as to why you failed than to truly give it your all and still not succeed. This is the most overwhelming reason why you self-sabotage.

If you can see that you are someone who does self-sabotage and you would like to make some changes to become more positive, to be successful, to live with purpose then you need to do the work and in turn you will be making positive changes to future generations so they are free from the self-sabotaging cycle as well.

How do I know if I am self-sabotaging?

Ask yourself:

  • Am I prioritising instant gratification?
  • Am I avoiding what needs to be done?
  • Am I not prioritising self-care?
  • Am I always procrastinating?
  • Am I focusing on self-defeating thoughts?

Examples of self-sabotaging yourself:

  • Purposely not turning up for work
  • Not meeting a deadline
  • Eating a cake when I know I have been good all week, the negative way can be well controlled.

Your mind is conditioned to what has happened in the past and is ready to combat anything in your way to keep you safe by dealing with things the way it always has. Your mind does not understand the future as it is not reality and the past is just your perception of events. The only way to make positive change when it comes to self-sabotaging is to do the work in real time, in the moment. Here are a couple of ways to combat this behaviour:

  • Firstly, acknowledging what your self-sabotaging behaviours are and then write out ways to combat them. This is extremely beneficial, as you are writing out the solutions, your sub-conscious will start believing it. You are consciously creating new positive memories which will then be used in the future when your sub-conscious needs to make decisions.
  • Hypnotherapy is also a great way to unlock neural pathways that have been blocked due to certain situations that took place between the ages of 0-7.

Your Subconscious Mind has so much to do with achieving your goals or not!

The left side of your brain is your Conscious mind (Logic, reasoning) = 1% of your brain

Your right side of your brain is your Subconscious mind (emotions, feeling, beliefs) = 99% of your brain

We need to activate and influence the subconscious mind which is affected by memories and operates in the now, here is how to do this:

  • Command what you want
  • Feel what you want
  • Use positive words / energy attracts energy, what you think about you bring about
  • Use present tense when thinking and talking for example, I will weigh 65kg by 1 October 2021 (massive effect on the subconscious) it will then work with you to make it happen
  • When goal setting write in present tense, ‘I am going to …..’

Sub-conscious goal setting relies on past experiences and also the present to make it happen. We are constantly creating the subconscious mind, work on deliberately creating positive change, command what you want and use visualization. When goal setting create your goals visually as your sub-conscious mind receives information via emotions and pictures.

This is very important to understand, here are 3 ways to break the self-sabotaging cycle:

  • Set an emotional goal, when writing out your goals use emotional words which will enhance your belief in your goal
  • Visualize what it will FEEL like when you achieve your goals
  • Create a vision board to help your mind to understand and connect with what you want.

Greatness starts from the inside out, you have to do the work in real time and be comfortable spending more time with yourself in order to achieve success!

If you are ready to health & fitness journey, my app includes all of my programs which will definitely help you achieve your goals. You will also get to experience my one of a kind support community which is truly amazing! 

Click here to read all about it and start your 14 day free trial – if you have any questions please email my team and I any time at info@kimbeach.com 

If you have any questions please email us at: info@kimbeach.com

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