“I have started this a million times. You know in the movies when they screw up the paper and throw it at the bin? This is the digital version of this. I have so much to say, but struggle with the words to say it. So how do I do this? I think the answer is honestly and succinctly.
I keep thinking about why I signed on for #noexcuses. And the reason is because I was desperate. I have tried it all. And when I mean it all….. I mean it all. I even took duromine which made my heart beat so fast I felt like it was going to explode out of my chest. I mean who does that?
But yep. Desperate. Really desperate. I come from a long line of heart attacks. Like fatal, deadly ones. I have been aware of my heart health and weight being a big contributor to heart disease for a long time. And even though I tried to do something about it I was never successful. I turned 40 just over a year ago and become fixated on my need to change my weight. I had been between 82-89kg for nearly 20 years and wanted change so badly, but I just didn’t know now to do it. Now I am an intelligent person. I teach Science, you think I would be able to work it out. But there is so much conflicting information and so many “experts” that sometimes it’s hard to know what to do. What is healthy?
Like everyone else I saw Kim Beach on my Facebook. And I ignored it. Another fad, another person wanting my money. Another thing to sign up to and fail. I was at the point where I had decided that I was just going to accept that fat was my life and try and start liking what I saw when I looked in the mirror. Except I couldn’t do it. Giving up on myself and my health felt like saying goodbye to so much and accepting a potential heart attack and health issues. I just couldn’t do it.
Kim Beach appeared on my Facebook again, so I messaged and asked “What makes you think I can do this? What makes you think this is the plan for me”. The answer was so simple that it actually felt like a slap in the face. And the answer was “because other people have. Real people just like you, and if they can, so can you”. In every other plan I had done I had felt like I wasn’t special enough to be successful. I felt like the people who had success at weight loss had some sort of super power, or some sort of genetic mutation that made them somehow special. This answer made me wonder why couldn’t I do it. It made me realise that you don’t need a super power or a gene mutation. You just need to be committed.
Honestly. The only person stopping me was me. Why had I never realised that? Why had I failed at everything else. Because I fully believed I couldn’t do it. Thats why. It was always too hard, too scary, too big… to much. What made this different? It was 8 weeks.
And, remember…. I was desperate.
So I bought the plan. I joined the Facebook group. My first few posts were 100% fear. I said things like “I can’t….. I don’t know how”…. And people said “You can….”. And I actually never believed them, but they gave me the courage to try. These were women who didn’t know me at all. I felt so supported and uplifted. So I did. I started. The first week was awful. I’m not gonna lie. But I had treated myself so poorly for so long that I was always going to detox hard. Again I cried to the support group, and again the group supported and encouraged me.
Once I got through that first week it began to get easy. Firstly 8 weeks. I could do 8 weeks. Secondly, everything was there. I just needed to do what it says. When I was in the Navy if we said “I think” someone would yell back “We dont pay you to think”. And I loved that I didn’t have to think. I just had to do. And doing is easy. Doing is really really easy.
Temptation was there, but my desperation to change my life became a determination to find success. I stuck to the plan as closely as I could. I increased my exercise as well. I saw results. Actually quite quickly. More quickly than I could ever imagined. My body was responding to something finally and changing. I was losing weight but it became less and less about what I was losing and more and more about what I was gaining.
My skin was clearing up. I had itchy skin for years and nothing would stop it. It’s been gone since week 2. I haven’t taken an antihistamine for weeks. My confidence has increased. I am present in photographs instead of hiding. I glance at my reflection in windows and am shocked at who is looking back at me. I shoe shop and wonder where those muscly legs come from. But more than anything, my resting heart rate has dropped by around 10bpm and my heart health has increased to the point where if I have a heart attack then I am seriously unlucky. My cardiac health is excellent for a woman of my age. I know that if I do have heart issues in my early 60s then I have done everything I can to prevent it.
My kids hug me and comment on my new body. I let my husband touch my tummy without dying a little on the inside. I go into shops with confidence and by clothes I love, not clothes that I hide behind. I feel like the person who I wanted to be is finally emerging.
I am not done yet. I don’t know if I will ever be done. That’s because good health is a lifestyle choice that has no end date. What started off as an 8 week commitment has become a commitment for life. And I am happy to make it. I never want to be what I was. Unhappy, itchy, scared of my future health. I have plans to run a half marathon in November. I have plans to be there for my children and my future grandchildren. I have plans that need a healthy me. I want to walk Te Araroa Trail in the next 10 years. I feel like I can do that. I have been on this programme now for 14 weeks and I have gained my confidence back. 14 crazy weeks. It’s nothing in the scheme of life. Kim Beach #no excuses is the best thing I have ever done for my health. Fact.
This is not a fad. This is good food that the whole family can enjoy. It has balance which means there is nothing I miss. And now after 14 weeks I feel so good I really dont miss the food that made me feel horrific. Kim has actually taken very little of my money. This plan is completely affordable. I spent more on other plans and had no success. And speaking of success, I have lost over 14kg and gained a new life. Who’s winning? I think it’s me. Don’t even think about it. Just buy it…. Just start. I am an ordinary person. Exceptionally so, so ordinary you wouldn’t look at me twice on the street. If ordinary me can do this, I promise you, that you can. And when do you, your biggest cheer squad is waiting for you.
Since writing this I have started on my #nolimits journey. I have LOVED #nolimits. I loved working hard and feeling my body change. So far I have spent 19 weeks on this journey and finally cracked into the 60s!!!! I honestly never in my wildest imagination thought this was possible. So far I have lost around 18kg and more cms than I care to measure. I have gained muscle tone and strength that I never though I would have. I am feeling really strong in my marathon training and am running better than I ever have. When I originally wrote this 5 weeks ago I didn’t know where I was going with this journey but now I have a clear picture of my path. I will finish #nolimits in 4 weeks and then I will go to #noexcuseslife and I will stick to this for life. I have no desire to go back to what I was.
For the first time in my adult life I feel free. I feel free from the self imposed shackles I had bound myself with. I can’t even begin to explain what the means to me. I have made friendships through this programme that are for life. This really has been a new beginning for me. Part of me is angry that it took me so long to find it, but mostly I am excited to live the rest of my life in such a positive and healthy way. I can’t thank Kim and the #beachfit team enough. They are the realest, caringest, nicest, genuinest, bestest (My 10 year old would not like this frustrating vocabulary) people ever. I owe them so much and I plan to repay that by making my life the best I can based on the principles they teach.
So like I said 5 weeks ago when I wrote this. Just join……. Tell yourself you are worth it and just do it. #noexcuses – this is living.
Paula, I am so proud of you! I feel very lucky to have met you, the way you have embraced the support group and encouraged so many other women whilst on your own journey is really inspiring! Congratulations!